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| Life is so boring now.
Having nothing to do,feeling hopless...
HOw've you guys been doing there? | | |
| I'm thinking about blogging at my myspace site..coz xangaland still doesnt work in china...so everyone who still reads my blogs or just comes across to my site please visite my myspace site...
www.myspace.com/haru_illustrate | | |
| I dont want to be a good-hearted person,I hate to make other ppl happy when they're sad,I hate to listen to their sad stories.why nobody cares me when I'm upset? why nobody listens to my sad stories? why nobody can understand me?I'm such a lonely person without any friends to talk to.But Im always there when they need me.I Dont want to be this kind of person.
Did you ever hear that ppl who love drawing have a lonely heart,becoz they're lonely and have no friends to talk so that they talk to the paper and pensils.
It's a really bad year this year.
I now get stuck,feeling hopeless....but there's still a long way to go in my life?how and when I can be really happy to live my life?my life is like a piece of shit.
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| I'm so confused now..dont know what i'm going to do or I know what I should do but just not sure whether it's right to do.I spent four days in jinan,for the training of ET-ticket and for having some fun..I had some fun there,we went for fishing and climbing...yeah,so much fun there.It made me feel better,I was not that sad now.Then I've been working..staying at the airport all day long..long time work makes me sick of everything,the ppl and the job.Now I really dont know what i'm supposed to do...there' s long way to go in my life but I feel so so confused right now.Wish life is short.
I was tagged by Dvabt.To write down eight random facts about myself....mmmm,
1.I'm very short but I hate being short so I always wear high-heels
2.I cant drive nor ride a bicycle
3.I eat ice-cream all day
4.I have a bad temper,but I'm nice to everyone
5.sometimes I love being alone,listening to loud music,reading books or writing blogs.
6.I'm afraid of all kinds of animals and insects,but I have a dog called lele at my house.
7.I like guys in pink shirt.
8.I have a thing for white guys. | | |
| Glad that China unblocks xangaland..but still xanga can not work very well for some reason.China really sucks.It blocks myspace and makes a new site called myspace.cn...Why it bans foreign sites?it's so stupid and ridiculous to do this.Anyway hope xangaland works better later.
Mm,it happened too much recently...well,not that many things happened..but again make me so so down.I met a girl from shanghai during the interview in beijing,she's pretty and smart and makes me feel that Im still like a ugly duck.On that very early morning while I was working I suddently felt I might stay here like many other ppl do for the rest of my life,just like them....living life here for the whole life.I feel hopeless.I pretend to be happpy at work,try to smile to everyone I see at work.But inside,I'm so so depressed.
Life is so unpredictable.The more you treasure something,the easier it'll be lost.So maybe just need to take it easy?
I painted a lot days ago,didnt know why...just want my room full of my paintings.Then I stopped.
Hmm,remember the guy I deeply liked before? and I think I might still like him now.I happened to see his ex's paintings,(I really didnt know his ex drew too)and I feel that I'm so sucky at drawing,those paintings I drew are so so mediocre.and I dont think I can be as good as her.After I came back,I've been asking ppl how long a person will forget or get over another person whom she/he deeply likes.It does take time.
So I want to get out here,avoid meeting anyone I know...I hate this though,hate every time I have a problem and can not fix it I want to escape.And when I really got a chance to leave here,to go far,far away from here and I so so much treasured this chance...I just lost it.
Did you ever have this feeling?
Someone says God might be a girl,she likes to joke around and maybe also has temper....
Okay,now you know how I am doing recently.
I now can not go on my story...tears are out...
So ,mabye later...
Still I'm happy to back here again.Dont have to hide my feelings here and dont have to pretend nothing ever happened on me. | | |
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