Find somehing to do that you enjoy...even if it has to be alone. It may be in art...you are very creative. Look at the beauty of the creation...the sky and its ever-changing clouds, the birds singing, the trees blowing in the wind and the amazing colors in a flower grouping...colors that you would never have put together, but God did. Loving you from afar, Little Echo.

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Hey Echo, sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought I could relate since I used to feel the way you do. I tried to kill myself 3 times when I was younger (and ended up in the hospital) and fortunately failed miserably at all 3 attempts. That's when I met Jesus and my life totally changed. I used to hate people and hate myself and thought all people were untrustworthy and vain. I hated my family and the only thing I liked to do was write in my diary. I thought all things in life were meaningless. I hated being alive. But I was a bit afraid of going to hell... which is worse than being depressed. God spoke to me in the hospital room and told me that I wasn't alone and that he would always be with me and have plans for a wonderful life for me.. even today I still remember that moment and it makes me smile. I believe if you want to find the truth to peace and love and happiness you can find it, hang in there. I hope you're not mad at me

Haha oh I'm so glad you're not mad at me. I thought something I wrote might have upset you. So you saw Jessica huh? Yeah she teaches at a korean school near you. I think they pay her a lot of money.. perhaps you could try something like that eh? working with little kids can be a lot of fun!! I used to teach little toddlers (2 and 3 year olds) at church and they were so cute and a lot of fun to teach! Although I think I could see you doing something more exciting and involving travel with your skills and personality.. I wish you could get a job that sends you to the US! Anyway, one of the teachers I met in Yantai (he now lives in Canada) might visit Hong Kong this summer, I'm going to try to get enough days off for a visit too. Do you think you can come?